Trial Retirement

When I first got the news I was being laid off, I jokingly referred to my unplanned sabbatical as my "trial retirement". One thing I didn't mention in the post "All Things Must Pass", was that I have saved a bit of cash over the years, so I wasn't in a panic about finding something else right away. As a matter of fact, I could probably skate for close to two years without breaking a sweat.

So I first thought that I'd relax for a few weeks, enjoy the time off. There was the long weekend in Las Vegas to help celebrate my sister's birthday, followed by a week in Florida visiting with my dad for Thanksgiving that were coming up. Funny though. On one hand I knew I could relax and not worry. But on the other hand there's that feeling of urgency and that I if I'm not looking for a new job I may miss a really cool opportunity.

I updated my resume and posted it to Dice, Monster, and CareerBuilder. Almost immediately my phone and email were blowing up. On some days, fielding and responding to inquiries was more of a full time job than work ever was! I think it is because it is so interrupt driven. And some recruiters, what a pain in the neck. One particular recruitment agency seemed to be focused on jobs from one particular company. Seems this company had a bunch of similar positions open. But I would get calls and emails from different people at this one agency for these positions. Each time I would be asked to answer the same pre-screening questionnaire, supply the same references, send the same current copy of my resume. Yet, after 10 or 12 times, never even resulted in at least a telephone screening with the company looking to hire. Talk about a waste of time...

The three leads that did go anywhere had nothing to do with that agency. One resulted in a job offer that was withdrawn because they didn't want to wait a few days while I had final interviews with two other companies. The second one is through a recruiter that is definitely much more professional than the one previously mentioned. There was a face to face interview last week, and I am waiting for the final word. Hopefully tomorrow. Monday December 17. The third is a result of me applying for a job online. I have a final interview scheduled there on Tuesday. I would prefer the last because it is a full time gig, but I would be happy with a job offer from either of these last two.

If I don't get a job offer, I think I will take a few weeks off and enjoy my "trial retirement". Send a resume here and there, and respond to inquiries about opportunities that really excite me. At least that's what I want to do. I probably wouldn't feel as burnt out or overwhelmed if not for the recruitment agency that overloaded me with calls and emails for positions at one company that went nowhere. More than one person has told me that when they were in a similar position, they regretted not taking the opportunity to enjoy the time off.

All in all, life is good. I still have money in the bank, a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a couple of toys in the garage. Maybe, I need to finally put my passport to use to really call it a trial retirement.

All Things Must Pass

Let me first admit that I stole the title of this post from George Harrison's 1970 triple album (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Things_Must_Pass).

Little did I know when I posted Manage This, that two weeks later I would be unemployed. At least partially due to the stresses I noted from having to wear two different hats. Understandably upset at first, I quickly started to look at this as not a door being shut, but as a door being opened. As Romans 8:28 states, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.". Over the last few years at Northrop Grumman as a Unix Systems Administrator for the USPS, I felt that my talents were being squandered. I believed that as I remained, I would fall behind on new and exciting technologies. You see, the work at USPS was divided into different teams. Most of the Unix Admins were there to support various applications. But the team that got to learn, test, and implement new and emerging technologies was based out of a data center in Eagan, MN. Here in San Mateo, the Unix Admins were somewhat subservient to the teams in Eagan. We may have used new technologies, but usually only following procedures and policies set by the groups in the Minnesota office. Yes, there was exposure to new tech. But not a large amount of opportunity to experiment and learn. Staying there, I left that technology was going to pass me by and that the only avenue of growth was the managerial ladder. But I like the trenches, I like the technical challenges and solving puzzles.

So here I am, enjoying some time off. Heck, I'm somewhat mildly annoyed that I already have some irons in the fire with a couple of cool opportunities. My phone and email has absolutely lit up the last couple days after updating my profile on two of the well known job sites. But they will have to wait. My sister celebrates a milestone birthday this Friday, and I am heading out of town to help her celebrate. I'm taking a road trip to meet up with her, my niece, and a couple other people. It's been some time since I had the Challenger on a nice long ride, and I'm sure she'll appreciate the chance to stretch her legs here and there on my drive tomorrow. Funny, that reminds me of a little song Don Imus used to play on AM radio back in the day, I think it was called Plastic Jesus.

The last week was just a minor setback, a small bump in the road. As for my time with Northrop Grumman and the USPS, all things must pass.

Manage this

So in 2010 I became a manager at Northrop Grumman. Rather reluctantly I might add. The organization that NG has that supplies talent to the USPS was changing. Instead of regional managers with dozens if not possibly hundreds of reports, they wanted managers that were also still part of the billable talent in the professional services they provided. I applied and accepted the position because I was played. As I found out later, the regional manager considered a candidate that was no way qualified just to ensure I applied for the position. So, here we are.

What was only supposed to be only approving bi-weekly time cards, and annual reviews turned out to be much more. To save time, I really won't go into it here. But it has been much more stress and responsibility than what was advertised. What makes that worse, is that the promotion came with *zero* monetary increase.

I meant to create a post about this about a year ago, but let it slide. But now is time to say something. I have a rather unpleasant task to execute. Even as I write this, I realize I cannot publish it until Monday of next week. This sucks...

The previous paragraphs were written in August 2012. The unpleasant task was having to lay off a friend. I won't go into details, but it definitely wasn't fun.

So here we are a little more than two years later after being made manager. I'm still trying to get used to this dual hat position. It's tricky thing to be a member of the team but at the same time the manager of my fellow team members. But I'm dealing with it. One thing that I think is a factor in why I haven't totally self-destructed is that my leadership changed. The regional manager that was my boss is now banished to the mid-west. My new manager is a guy who was once part of the technical (but in a different facility and state) team. He has a better understanding of the work we do for the USPS, and because of that he understands the challenges. His management style is worlds apart from the other guy and that helps a great deal.

I'm still trying to reconcile things as manager and team member. There is some good in that. I enjoy rewarding people for working hard and and when postal management recognizes effort above and beyond. But the opposite is quite taxing. Especially when accused of being harassing, even if just relaying the observations of the postal management. To revisit the previously mentioned friend I had to lay off. He understood it wasn't personal, and although that helped soften things for me, it still sucked. A current situation is just the opposite. I am being accused singling someone out when I am just citing concerns of the postal customer. Can you say high blood pressure?

But with that, I think this old draft of a post is ready to publish. I'd love hearing feedback from anyone with similar problems.

October Already

Wow! Is it October already? I wish I had some exciting news to share, but things are roughly the same since I last posted. The hip pain continues to get worse, range of motion in my left leg is diminishing. But we should have some fun this month.

My dear sister hits the big six-oh later this month. So we're Vegas bound. My sister is flying out from the east coast, my niece (and her boyfriend?) are flying down from San Francisco (did I mention she moved out here?), my friend Lynn is flying out from Ohio, and I am driving down in the Challenger. No real plans of what we are all doing, but my sister did think that heading to the Vegas drag strip to catch some NHRA action is a good idea! Whatever we all do, it's going to be a blast.

Reagan, my daughter, turns 12 November 1st. Still trying to decide what to get her for her birthday. She wants an iPad, but after an iPod Touch and a Kindle Fire, I'm thinking that more pricey electronic gadgets can wait until she learns a little more responsibility. I need to ask her mom for some ideas. Gotta say, I'm glad that after all the drama of the past, we can talk as friends.

After the long weekend in Las Vegas, there's my annual trip to visit dad for Thanksgiving. Looking forward to that as well. I always enjoy spending time with the old man. I am grateful that my family has always been pretty close. I hear horror stories from a few friends and acquaintances about their families and feel sad for them. The good Lord has blessed me and for that I am thankful.

I do have some other things I want to post, and there a few draft posts that I have been meaning to complete. But for now I just wanted to put something out there since it's been a while.

I'm not a Hipster - Part 2

Like I said, I really cannot get into the habit of posting on a regular basis. But while waiting to head out for dinner, I figured I'm long overdue. Besides, there has been something on my mind that I wanted to share.

It was at the beginning of the year when I posted I'm not a Hipster, the story about my 1984 motorcycle accident and my bad left hip. For the most part, I've been more than happy to procrastinate and continue to put off having the hip replacement surgery. But lately, the words of the orthopedic surgeon that repaired my broken femur after the accident and later diagnosed my bad hip are really starting to hit home. It was sometime in the late 1980s when I was first diagnosed with hip problems and at that time Dr. John Calhoun Killian told me this about getting a hip replacement. He said that I would get along just fine for a while, perhaps needing aspirin now and then. As time progresses, I would probably switch to the stronger OTC pain meds (back in the day ibuprofen was recently available without a prescription). He went on to say that at some point I will then start taking prescription, probably narcotic, pain medications. Finally he said, I will finally get fed up with the pain and discomfort and opt for the surgery. A reason for not just getting the surgery when the issue was first discovered is simple. The replacements wear out, and since I was much younger then, I would likely be on my 2nd or 3rd replacement by now. Well, those who know me have heard me say that the time is coming soon for a while now. It's been about 4 years since I filled my first prescription for Hydrocodone. This time, I'm thinking that it may really be that time.

For years, riding my motorcycle didn't bother or aggravate the hip. As a matter of fact, there were times that I felt a little stiff and cramped getting on the bike, but after a nice ride I felt fine when I got off. That is no longer the case. In the last few weeks or months I've noticed a change in that now riding the motorcycle exacerbates any pain or cramps as well as creates pain when it wasn't there before the ride. My sister told me that one time she was discussing my hip issues with my father and she said I would probably not get the surgery until I couldn't ride. She may have been right. The frequency and level of pain I've been suffering from the past few months is really starting to get to me. Hell, just getting on and off the bike is a chore. I even tried to ride my bicycle a couple weeks ago, and could not for the life of me get my leg over the seat! If I didn't know better, I would bet that I've lost more range of motion in the last 3 or 4 months than I have in the 3 or 4 years prior. Tying the shoelaces on my left sneaker is almost impossible. Where the pain and discomfort used to be something that was easily dismissed and dealt with, it is now front and center almost every day. So I guess, the time really is near. Exactly when, still undetermined. But definitely looming on the horizon.

Forced Remodel

Well it seems I am being mandated by the apartment management to have my kitchen and baths remodeled. Which means by Monday morning, May 14th 2012, I have to remove everything from all the cabinets, shelves, counter tops, and move the contents of the fridge to one they placed in my dining room yesterday. Even the hallway linen and misc closets.

A daunting task normally, let alone when a bad hip starts cramping up after just 15/20 minutes of moving and rearranging. Then the question of where to put everything comes to mind. What a PITA! I tried to put a large dent in the task yesterday evening, and then needed 2 Vicodins and 2 TylenolPMs to get to sleep.

I've been trying to get a little done here and there, but it seems I haven't even put a dent in it. Even now I'm still debating with myself on whether or not I should go out and purchase boxes or storage bins. Yes, the boxes or bins will make it easier to store things for the week, but if items are not in boxes they will be easier to access if I find the need for something stowed away.

Living in a semi-displaced mode for the next week should be another joy. No oven, stove, kitchen sink, etc. I really should have planned to be away for the week. So, what do you think the apartment management is offering as a compensation for the week of being displaced, plus the time spent needing to pack and rearrange things? If you guessed absolutely f'ing nothing, you guessed right. Oh, they did offer to have my carpets cleaned afterwards, but then shouldn't that be expected after a week of workers being in and out of the apartment for a week?!

This is not going to be a good week...

Tithe and Retirement

Biblical scholars, believers, and theologians; tax time has made me think of something related to tithes and offerings. I would be interested in other points of view and thoughts about the subject at hand.

From the time I began to faithfully tithe on a regular basis, I decided that I would base my tithe on gross salary and not net. This relieves me of having to worry about additional tithes if I receive a tax refund, or perhaps reducing my tithe if I had to pay additional taxes. Since I pay my tithes according to my gross salary, I have already tithed against any amount of a tax refund. I may choose to offer more with a tax refund, but my conscience is clear if I do not.

That is all fine for now, but I have started thinking about retirement. If most of my retirement is self-funded, is it the same as my tax refunds? I realize I will have to account for interest, dividends, and amounts matched by employers. But will I have clear conscience in not offering a full tithe in my retirement years? Something to ponder as retirement starts getting closer.

I'm not a hipster

Twenty-eight years ago this coming July 22, I had a serious motorcycle accident. The last vehicle in a chain of three or four that collided while avoiding a car that had entered the Northern State Parkway in an unsafe manner. The bike went into a high-slide when I tried to lay it down, and I slammed into the back bumper of a Buick 225. I will admit, I am partially to blame.

I ended up with a compound fracture of my left femur, and some nerve damage that caused 'foot drop' of my left foot. I was hospitalized for just under six weeks. During that time, things got dicey when a fat embolism made its way to one of my lungs. The surgery to repair my leg, inserting a titanium rod (sometimes called a Kushner Rod) in the femur had to wait until the embolism was cleared up. Combined with an external prosthetic brace, the rod allows one to begin putting weight on the leg immediately after being discharged from the hospital. This reduces or eliminates the muscle atrophy that one would get if the leg was in a cast for a few months. I forget how long I ended up wearing the brace as I progressed from using two crutches, to one crutch, and then to a cane. I used cane regularly for quite a few years, perhaps six or seven, maybe a little more.

A couple years later I returned to the hospital to have the titanium rod removed. I was only in the hospital for a day. I had asked to keep the rod, but I never did get it. Around that same time, the 'foot drop' went away quite suddenly. I had been going for testing, and surgery was suggested to correct the nerve damage. But one day while hanging out with a friend at her job, I noticed that I was tapping my foot to music. With the rod removed and the nerve damage gone, it seemed that the ordeal was completely behind me. Or so I thought...

Not too long after I began to suffer from back pain after walking, running, etc. When it got bad enough to visit the doctor, a leg length discrepancy was discovered. My left leg was now about a half inch or so shorter than my right. X-Rays showed that my left hip was starting to develop arthritis. The doctor theorized that it could have been an unnoticed hairline fracture at the time of the accident. I was measured for a prosthesis (a lift that fits inside my left sneaker) and the back pain did go away. But at that time, the orthopedic doctor told me the progression I should expect. He said I'd be fine for a while, perhaps needing an aspirin or two now and then. After that, I will likely switch to the stronger OTC meds for more frequent and severe bouts of pain (at the time Ibuprofen was the drug that you no longer required a prescription for). He said the next phase would be that I would end up taking perhaps twice the listed dosage on a frequent, if not regular, basis to deal with the hip and leg pain as the hip deteriorates further. After that, prescription pain killers. This is the phase I have been at for the last three years. My regular doctor had tried to prescribe anti-inflammatory (NSAID) drugs like Celebrex, but they barely took the edge off the pain, let alone make it go away. So the last three years, I have been taking Vicodin aka Hydrocodone. Not every day mind you, just when the pain gets past a certain threshold. It gets tricky now and then, deciding whether or not to take the opioid. Some days, I wait too long and end up 'chasing the pain'. When that happens, even taking the max dose of Vicodin does little more than soften the edge of the pain. The last phase as you can guess is that I finally opt for the hip replacement surgery. Why not just get it done years ago you ask? The replacements wear out, and if I were to have had it replaced when first discovered I probably would have had it redone once or twice since then. The doctor years ago suggested I wait until I can't deal with the pain any longer.

And that's almost where I am now. I saw a specialist at Stanford University Hospital a couple times the last two years. The bad news he gave me last time was that my hip is getting near a point where the damage will make the surgery and recovery more difficult. But I am still thinking of the logistics of being out of work for a couple months, getting around immediately following the surgery, and other related issues. Then again, the increased pain has had other effects. I'm less mobile these days, and that's causing a bit of a weight gain issue. Of course the gain in weight makes it more painful to be mobile, which goes back to the beginning of the cycle. When will I get my hip replaced? I'm not sure, but at this point I know that I need to pull the trigger sooner rather than later.